Welcoming in 2021

 HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE

    It has been such a long time since I have written anything.  Oh, it wasn't for lack of trying.  I have opened my computer to this page on many occasions, only to find that the words in my head (and heart) were such a jumble I couldn't sort them out enough to create a coherent post.  

    So as we begin this last week of 2020, I am trying once again. I am trying to focus on the positive aspects of this year.  The 6 months I got to spend in New Zealand.  How lucky I am that I have not lost anyone to Covid.  Grateful that the people I know and love who did contract the virus survived.  I set a goal to run or walk at least 1 mile every day in 2020 and will accomplish that goal (barring any unforeseen events in the next few days).  As a matter of fact, I have logged well over 1400 miles this year! I have never bought so many running shoes in one year!!! I lost weight.  I got faster.  I got stronger. I'm feeling pretty accomplished physically. Still working on my fitness goals for 2021, but I know I want to add more variety.  I recently started hiking again, and began trail running!  Maybe live races will come back in the new year...here's hoping!

    We are getting some things done around the house - finally!  New deck is almost done.  Plans are being worked on for a long overdue kitchen overhaul.  Began a big landscaping project that we will finish in the spring.  We go back and forth about staying or moving (it's like a real life version of Love It or List It - HGTV show).  But we love this neighborhood.  We love this house.  It's not perfect.  It never will be.  But we keep coming back to it, so I'm taking that as a sign that it is where we should be.

    It was a year full of changes. We had to learn to make adjustments.  There was no spontaneity in our lives any more.  Everything had to be planned around making sure you had a mask and allowing for quarantine time.  We couldn't just grab a drink with a friend. No popping over to a neighbor's house unannounced for a cup of coffee.  No last minute decision to take a long weekend. Planning in advance was required for most aspects of our lives.

    So now it is the last week of the year. Many people take this time between Christmas and New Year to reflect on the past and plan for the future. Set goals.  Plan vacations.  Make those New Year's resolutions.  But how can anyone plan for anything with so much uncertainty surrounding us.  What will the new year bring?  Will the vaccine really work? Will there be further restrictions put in place?  More things shutting down?  More small businesses closing their doors forever?  How/when will things go back to the way they were before the Spring of 2020?

    Nobody can answer any of these questions.  The truth is, we just don't know what the future holds.  But we never do!  We go into every New Year not knowing what will happen in the next 12 months.  I think what makes this year so different is that people are more afraid of that uncertainty.  A sense of joy and wonder about what could be possible for the future is overshadowed by fear...a deep fear that we see no end in sight.  No magic wand to wave to make everything OK.  

    And so we go into this New Year restless, weary and afraid.  We miss the life we used to have.  We miss our friends.  We miss our families.  We miss the celebration of milestones big and small. And, no pithy quote or affirmation is going make that fear go away.

    This is what I plan to do going into 2021...LIVE MY BEST LIFE POSSIBLE!  I cannot live in fear.  That will cripple me - send me to my bed where I will pull the covers up over my head and stay there until someone gives the "all clear". Instead, I will wear a mask so that I can work, go grocery shopping and see family and friends.  I will continue to take care of myself physically - watch what I eat, strength training and cardio activities everyday.  Emotionally, I will take control of the things that are in my power to control and learn to let the other things go. 

    I wasn't going to set any goals for 2021.  I didn't want to reflect back on 2020. But I changed my mind about this.  I think it is important to take some time this week to acknowledge my accomplishments, acknowledge the things I miss and acknowledge the things I would like to achieve in the new year.  Routines are important.  And my routine at this time of year is take stock...acknowledge, reflect and look forward.  Emotionally, it is important that I do this.  It is a time to let things go; to make room for the new - physically and mentally.

    Every year, I choose a photo or a quote to be my focus for the upcoming year.   

It was hard to do this year.  Nothing drew me in.  Nothing was resonating with the way I was feeling. And then I saw it.  From my deck, I can look out onto the cove across the street.  Every year, a  neighbor decorates one of their boats for the holidays and anchors it in the middle of the cove.  This year the boat is lit up with a giant peace sign between the masts.  I look out at the peace sign everyday.  I see that as my symbol for the new year.  Peace of mind!  Peace in my heart!  Peace in our nation! Peace in our world!  This is the image I hold on to.  Soon the boat will be brought back to shore and the lights taken down.  But I am hanging this picture that Tim took in my office.  I will look at it every day and send up my silent prayer for peace for all of us.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE 💕

Thoughts From New Zealand; Vol. 3

THOUGHTS FROM NEW ZEALAND

Vol. 3

     Three weeks from today, I will begin my long journey home.  I take off from Auckland on July 9th at 9:30 pm.  I arrive in LA at 2:40 pm (Thursday still/again).  I take off for Chicago at Midnight and land at 6:00 am Friday morning.  My final leg - Chicago to Boston - leaves at 7:00 am and lands at 10:35 Friday morning.  I am exhausted just typing it out!

     When people comment about me being "stuck" in New Zealand, I quickly correct them.  I have never felt stuck here.  Although I have stayed twice as long as originally planned, this time with Michael, Jamie and Amelia has been such a gift.  I figured it out; I have actually spent more time with Amelia since she was born than away from her.  I NEVER THOUGHT THAT WOULD HAPPEN! I have experienced such joy watching her take her first steps, watching as she asserts her independence.  I see her personality starting to blossom.  She is curious and precocious.  She loves books and music and dancing.  She is learning sign language and has uses "more" when she wants more to eat or drink or if she wants us to re-read a favorite book.  
     I have had the gift of time with Michael and Jamie as well.  Time to cook, enjoy great wine, great conversation.  As a family we have had some nice weekend getaways and fun little day adventures.  These are memories I will cherish forever!
     But after six months, it is time for me to come home.  It's time for this family to create their routines as a family of three.  And it's time for me to go home and figure out what life is going to be like for me under the new rules.  That is going to take some getting used to!  All restrictions have been lifted here because the virus has been contained and is no longer in the general population.  I will have to self isolate for 2 weeks when I get home.  I will be taking up residence on the second floor.  This will be interesting!!!!
     But right now I don't really know what I'm going home to.  I don't think I will be able to work because the preschools won't be opened yet.  I'm not sure I can teach my yoga classes out on the base yet.  I'll have to get some masks so I can go to the grocery store.  Truth be told...I'm a little anxious about coming home.  The number of cases keeps going up.  People are so divided about social distancing, wearing a mask, being with other people.  
     Then there is all the social unrest and political shenanigans.I have to say, I have enjoyed the peace of mind I have here.  I run.  I work out.  I practice my yoga.  I've taken a few on line classes.  I have enjoyed cooking here.  Stephen is in big trouble when I start cooking again.  Michael and Jamie like very spicy food and I have grown accustom to it.  I have acquired a taste for tagines and curries and a variety of new spices.  I hope that I can continue to enjoy this simpler life when I get home.  
     Yes, I have enjoyed a wonderful six months here.  When I got here, it was summer.  As I leave it is winter (cool and rainy most days, but nothing like winter in New England).  I am coming home to summer.  Good timing on my part!   I am looking forward to catching up with family and friends (whatever that will look like).  I want to run around my nice FLAT neighborhood, although 6 months of hill training has been great for my speed and endurance.  I'm looking forward to running my virtual Falmouth Road Race to support Heroes in Transition.  I want to walk to the spit; meet my friends for coffee at Cape Cod Coffee.  I want to see Cait and have Tim come home for a visit.  
     It is time for me to come home!  Three more weeks!  Two weeks of quarantine!  Mark your calendars...July 25th I can come out to play.  I wonder what the rules will be by then???????

Thoughts from NZ vol. 2

THOUGHTS FROM NEW ZEALAND

(volume 2)

April 13, 2020

     Today is hard.  I should be arriving home today.  I should actually be landing at Logan right about now.  But, I am not!  And while I remind myself that it is better that I am here, than at home,  I am still sad.

     I remind myself that I get at least two more months watching Amelia grow and reach new milestone (like walking and saying her first words).  But, I am still sad.

     I remind myself that I will never get the opportunity for so much quality time with Michael and Jamie - cooking, talking, enjoying good wine.  But, I am still sad.

     I remind myself that the leaders here are handling this crisis so much better than in the states.  But, I am still sad.

     I remind myself how lucky I am that we have been physically untouched by this virus personally.  Nobody in our family or circle of friends had gotten it - a fact that is such a blessing considering just how many people have contracted this virus.  But, I am still sad.

     I am still sad because this virus has caused so much disruption and devastation to the entire world.  I am still sad because it is hard to imagine how we will come out of something like this.

     Everyone tries to put a positive spin on it...myself included.  We have all this time to spend with family.  Time to slow down and enjoy simple pleasures.  Time to get all those little projects done around the house.  Time to exercise and get back into a fitness routine.  Everyone says things will be different, better, when this is over.  But, really, will they?  Are we really going to look back at this time and think "oh, remember that time when the whole world was on lockdown and we had the time to enjoy a simpler way of life"?   

     Sadly, I think the answer is NO.  Because, after only three weeks of "social distancing" and isolation people are clamoring for their "old normal".  Leaders are being pressed to pin down a date on the calendar when things this will open up again.  When will the kids go back to school?  When will the mall be opened?  When can I get a haircut?  Is everyone just going to fling open their doors and go about their business as if nothing had happened? Or, will there be some sort of gradual resumption of life as we knew it? 

     So, while I have much to be thankful for during these stressful days, I still start and end each day with more questions than answers.  I know answers will not be easy to come by because the questions and situations change so much every single day.

     And, while I think it is important to stay positive, hopeful, optimistic (pick your word), I think it is also important to acknowledge the other feelings that creep in as well.  Give them a name, too.  Sadness.  Anger.  Confusion.  Explore where these feelings are rooted.  But then, bring your focus back to the things you can control.  The things you can enjoy.  The things that give you the strength to get up each day.

     Today, I acknowledge my sadness.  I name it.  I feel it.  It is normal to feel this way.  There was a plan and then the plan changed.  It is out of my control.   I don't really have a back up plan except to stay here and enjoy all this extra time with my family.  Because that's what gives me the strength to get up each day.

Thoughts from New Zealand.  Yes!  I'm still here!

     When last I wrote, I was debating whether I should leave on April 13th as scheduled or stay until June 1st, as my visa had been extended.  I no longer have a choice.  Air New Zealand has suspended all flights into the US until June 30th.  An Epidemic Order is in effect here, so all current visas are good until September 25th.  So while I still have no idea when I will be home, it looks like it won't be until at least July 1st , unless I can book something with another airline.  But, really, I AM IN NO HURRY TO GET ON A PLANE!  I have the gift of time.  I have time to wait and see how this plays out in the US and Massachusetts over the next weeks and then I can start to make a plan...I hope.

     The Prime Minister here is a marvel.  Google her...Jacinda Ardern.  She is a no nonsense, strong, compassionate voice in a time of great uncertainty.  SHE SHUT THE COUNTRY DOWN AND NOBODY HAD DIED YET!!!!!!She was determined to get ahead of this virus and rallied the country behind her to get it done. Everything shut down except for grocery stores, pharmacies, medical facilities, police and fire departments.  Grocery stores immediately limited the number of people allowed in the store.  Limits were set on certain items as to how much  you could buy.  Restaurants, bars, coffee shops were all shut down.  No take out.  No delivery.  Life in NZ changed dramatically in the course of 48 hours.  And while there continues to be new cases, the number of new cases is not nearly as disheartening as in other parts of the world.  They are tracking it here.  Looking for clusters.  Looking for any patterns that will help medical personnel stem the rising tide. 

     I feel safe here. Michael, Jamie and I are doing everything we can to keep ourselves and Amelia safe and healthy.  They had a feeling the government was going to take aggressive action so we had been keeping track of what we had in the house...especially for the baby.  So we were in pretty good shape when the lockdown  went into effect.  We have had some bulk food items delivered.  Michael went to the grocery store today and got us stocked up on eggs, produce, meat, bread.  We also have a decent supply of wine (which you can buy in grocery stores here).   AND EVERYTHING GOT  DISINFECTED BEFORE IT GOT PUT AWAY!

     I run everyday.  I have set up circuit training in the backyard when the weather permits, the garage when it rains (we are heading into Fall here).  I am loaded up with yoga and exercise videos so that I don't get bored.  There are daily walks around the neighborhood so that Amelia gets fresh air and sunshine.  We have a big back yard.  For Michael and Jamie, this time with their daughter is such a gift.  They are getting to see her at such a crucial time (10 months old).  She is cruising around the furniture.  Babbling away.  We marvel at how much she changes from day to day.  My Nonni heart is full! 

     My mother heart is full and conflicted. I try to check in with Cait and Tim every couple of days.  There isn't much I can do from here, but I need to see their faces and hear their voices and  know that they are taking care of themselves and have what they need.  They have roommates so they are not alone.  And then there's Stephen who IS home alone!  Those of you who know him, know he is a VERY SOCIAL person.  I worry most about him.  And if truth be told, I wonder what it is going to be like once I do get home.  We will be apart for almost 6 months (if I get home in July).  I think there might be a period of readjustment!

     We look for the positive, EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!  We look out the front window and can see the ocean.  We are warm.  We have a roof over our heads.  We have food.  We are safe and we do everything we can to stay safe and keep Amelia safe.  

     Everyone is going to deal with this crisis in their own way.  For me, that means having a routine.  Get up.  Work out.  Read.  Cook.  Play with the baby.  Do laundry.  I think it's important to get up in the morning, brush your teeth, and have a plan.  What do I want to accomplish today? Make no mistake.  There are days that I struggle to do anything more than pour a cup of coffee.  But then I see that smile that lights up my soul and I know I need to get moving.

     Are you home schooling?  How's that going?  I hope you are taking advantage of all the FREE resources that are being made available to parents.  But, you know what?  This is stressful for your kids too, so don't worry about the lessons.  Go outside and take a walk.  Make bird feeders.  Plant a garden (you can get the seeds in the grocery store or on line).  Let your kids learn through new experiences.  You might learn something new yourself.  Your kids are looking to you to guide them through this.  Be an example of strength and curiosity.  Ask open ended questions that will get them talking.  Encourage them to write or draw about how they are feeling. They are living through a major historical event.  Help them keep a record of it.  Take lots of pictures.  Make your own books.  There's so much you can do together that will go a long way to keeping everyone busy, calm and reassured.

     And so I have chosen the following quote to share with all of you as I wrap up this entry. 

     

I hope you find "good stuff" to enjoy everyday.  Yes, these are troubling times, full of uncertainty and strong emotions.  We will be changed after this.  How do you go from weeks of isolation and "social distancing", back into your normal life?  But worry will not guide us through this.  Continuing to look out for each other, showing gratitude for all we do have, and taking this time to slow down and discover the things that are really important....those are the gifts we can focus on for now.  Because now, we have the time.

Getting Through Times of "Social Distancing", School Closures and "Working From Home"

     As I write this, I am still in New Zealand, weighing my options about coming home as scheduled in April or extending my stay through June 1st.  It is a very strange phenomenon to be in a different country when yours is going through something as unsettling as this Coronavirus.  I worry about my family and friends, especially those who are self employed, own a small business, have underlying health issues and/or have kids who are now home.  I can't do much to help from here, but I will share some advise as you all hunker down and practice "Social Distancing".

     
     If you find yourself at home due to work shut downs, school closing or self quarantine, you may be feeling a bit out of sorts, especially if you are someone who had a pretty established daily routine.  Here's my best piece of advice - STICK TO OR CREATE A NEW ROUTINE!!!

     
     While hanging in your PJ's, binge watching Netflix and enjoying your favorite beverage sounds great, by the end of day three it will start to change you.  Anxiety, depression, a sense of dread or hopelessness could start to creep in.  Creating a routine, that includes physical exercise, can help  alleviate some of those unsettling feelings.  I know because I have been experiencing a bit of "social distancing" here.

      
     When Stephen and Tim were here, I had a great morning routine that included my morning run, because I could leave Amelia with them. We had a plan for almost every day.  We went to the zoo. We went out for lunch. Took the bus everywhere.  We Ubered  and went on the ferry to explore other parts of Auckland.  Everyday brought a new adventure. Once they left, I was home alone with a baby who took two long naps every day.  Don't get me wrong.  I am loving all this time with my grand daughter.  But it reminded me how isolating it can be to be home alone with a baby.  
     
     So now I had 2 big blocks of time to fill.  

     
     I needed something physical to replace my morning run.  

     
     To my friend Beth, thank you!!!!!! Your sample boxing video filled that void.  I am enjoying it very much.  My living room is just big enough to do it and Michael has a good variety of hand weights to keep it interesting.  I have found some great yoga practices on line, as well.  I am using the Subtle Yoga YouTube page.  It is a slow, mindful practice that is relaxing and provides the good long stretches I am looking for.  Here's my point - decide what it is you would like to do (yoga, strength training, boxing, cardio, general conditioning) and GOOGLE it.  There are so many options to choose from, you won't get bored.

     
     My afternoon block is used for self care and learning.  I have taken a few on line courses. I read - a lot.  I have a few word game apps I enjoy as well.  This is my time to exercise my mind...keep it sharp and stimulated.  Setting this time aside as "me" time has been empowering.  It has opened me up to new learning opportunities that I wouldn't have sought out if not for being home with time to fill - much the same way some of you find yourselves now.

     
     The most important thing for me is to keep Amelia safe.  To that end we will not be taking bus rides or Ubers for a while.  We will also be passing on playgroups at the church and library.  We walk everyday.  For now, we will still go to the park or the grocery store or the local coffee shop.  That may change - sooner than we like - but for now we enjoy being outside and seeing the people in our neighborhood.  

     
     GO OUTSIDE EVERYDAY.  You need to breathe fresh air and feel the sun on your face.  If it's cold, put on a warm coat, hat and gloves! Walk on the beach.  Walk in the woods. Walk around your neighborhood.  Just don't kiss, hug or shake hands with people.  Don't touch things and then put your hands near your face and nose.  WASH YOUR HANDS before you leave the house and when you come home.

     
     Do you have kids at home?  It is even more important to establish a routine.  Their entire school day is based on routine.  They need it and they will be looking to you to provide it.  

     Limit the screen and electronics time!

     Get the kids involved in projects around the house.  Sorting through their closets, toy             boxes, book shelves, letting them decide what they have outgrown or don't use that can       be donated.

     Let them help with menu planning and meal prep.

     Scavenger Hunts.

     Jigsaw puzzles.

     Obstacle Courses.

     Simple art and Science projects. 
     Build a fort in the living room (you know you want to)
    

     Schools probably didn't have enough time to put on-line learning assignments in place. Your job will be to keep them stimulated physically, mentally, emotionally and socially.  Their little brains will turn to mush quickly.  Some easy ideas:

• Make cards or pictures for hospital patients or nursing home residents. They probably aren't able to have visitors and might be feeling lonely
• Create sculptures from your recycle bin
• Make play dough
• Start an indoor garden (even if you just plant grass seeds in a cup of dirt)

     There are lots of websites offering FREE activities for you to do at home with your kids.  Most are easy and can be done with things you have around your house.  Find out what your kids are interested in doing/learning about. Some zoos and museums are even offering FREE, virtual tours..Explore your options!

     
     Your kids will pick up on your cues and follow your lead.  Even if all you want to do is pull the shades down, crawl into bed and pull the covers up over your head, DO NOT DO IT!!!

Your kids will be looking to you for guidance.  Yes, these are scary times.  They will have lots of questions.  Answer them as best you can without causing alarm.  AND, it's OK to say you don't know the answer.  

     
     Whether you are home alone or with your kids, remember to take care of yourself.  Eat right.  Drink lots of water.  Find ways to exercise - your body and your mind.  Perhaps make it a learning experience for you and your kids.  Try something new like knitting or cooking.  Take an on line class.  Try something creative like drawing, writing or painting.  

     Stay positive!

     Stay engaged!

     Reach out if you need help!

     Reach out and offer help if you are in a position to do so!

     As I said at the beginning, it is a very strange experience to be so far from home during such troubling times.  I dread turning on my phone in the morning for fear of what may have developed over night.  I have made it a practice to meditate for 5 minutes in the morning as soon as I wake up to give myself a chance to breathe and start the day on a positive note.  I look forward to the morning I wake to the news that there has been a shift and that things are starting to return to "normal".  But what will a post coronavirus United States (or world) look like?  What lessons will we learn?  What changes will occur in how we interact with each other in our neighborhoods?  In our country?  In our world?

     I guess we will just have to wait and see.  

     Be safe!

     Be kind to each other.

     Take good care of yourselves.

Setting February's Goal

As January comes to an end, it is time to think about my goal for February.

     My meditation practice has become more focused and mindful this month.  I have taken several "moving meditations", either walking or running and then sitting to reflect when done.  These moving meditations have helped me with my breathing and posture as I tackle the hills that surround me for my daily run.  

     My goal for January was to make my meditation practice more meaningful, and adding this new form of meditation has helped me achieve this goal.  

     Time to think about my goal for February. 
      I have settled into a routine here in NZ.  Tim has arrived.  Stephen will be leaving next week.  Mike and Jamie have gone back to work.  I settle the baby in for her morning nap then go for a run.  On days I do a shorter run, I add a quick yoga flow just to stretch after my run.  I go to the gym Saturday or Sunday depending on what the weekend plans are.  I do a run on the treadmill. Then it's weights and core and I end in the studio with another short yoga flow to stretch.  

     I miss my regular yoga practice.  

     I haven't really looked for a studio here.  I know there isn't one close by so I just try to do a flow when I can.  

     But more than the actual class, I miss the emotional release of stretching that is such a big part of my yoga practice.

     And so the next small goal of my overall big goal of emotional health will be to add mindful stretching to my fitness routine...not just tack on a flow at the end of my run or gym workout; but a mindful, relaxing, stretching routine that will bring me the emotional release of tension I am craving.  

     I've done a little research on the benefits of stretching the body.  Turns out, stretching the body in a mindful/meaningful way also stretches the mind and the soul.  

     When you stretch, you have the opportunity to listen to your body, or rather your bodies (physical, emotional and spiritual).  You become more aware of your body's nuances.  
     What stretch feels good?      
     What are the physical limits of some stretches and if I let go - breathe into the stretch, can I go a little deeper.  
     And if I go a little deeper can I release the physical and emotional tension that builds up over time?  
     On a spiritual level, can I find peace deep within my being if I learn to breathe, stretch and let go?

     Stretching in this deep and meaningful way brings joy to your body.  It frees you from thinking of your body as a machine that needs to be pushed to its limits.  In stretching, you just allow the body and the mind to be.  

     Allowing yourself to stretch - to release and let go - can change your mood.  Notice when you are feeling anxious or tense.  

     Are you holding your breath?  

     Is your lower back sore?  

     Do you have pain in your neck and shoulders. 

     Taking the time to mindfully stretch can release all that physical discomfort and emotional negativity.  When you release the negativity, you make room for joy.  You experience your life with a positive attitude.  
     As the above quote suggests, creating opportunities for the body to soften and relax is important for our well-being.

     So this month I set out on the path of softening my hard edges.  I will work on creating my more supple and open self.  I will show gratitude for the gift of my body by taking care of, not only my physical body, but my emotional and spiritual bodies, as well.  

     Happy February everyone.  

     What goal will you be working on this month?  

     What ever it is, stay focused and be kind to yourself.  Don't give up.  Everyday is a new opportunity for change and growth.

     

How are those resolutions going?

We are coming up to the end of the first month of the new year.  
Did you make any New Years resolutions?  
Did you choose to set goals instead of resolutions?  
What ever you want to call them, the start of a new year is an opportunity to try new things or break a bad habit.  
We all start out with the best intentions.  
Time to make a change. 
Lose weight.  
Stop smoking. 
Travel more.  
Worry less.  
But why can't we stay committed to our plan.  Why do so many people give up before the month is over?  
I was reading an article in the Mindfulness Journal; A 52 Week Planner, written by Amanda Altman, who suggests that the problem may be in a lack of planning.  She states that more than just wanting to make a change, one must explore "the situations you regularly find yourself in".  You need to examine the triggers of your behavior that keep you stuck in old patterns and prevent you from making changes/keeping your resolutions.

In the article, she shares tips from Bryan Aston, LMSW and Director of Training at Mindful Psychotherapy Services in New York City, that may help you stay focused on your goals and find success in keeping your resolutions.  
After reading the article I immediately wanted to share this information with you.  This article was a good reminder that in order to create change you need a plan.  If you have a plan - a way to break your BIG goal down into smaller, attainable stages - you will have more success making the changes in your life that you want to create.  Here are my thoughts on some of his tips.

#1 "THINK IT THROUGH":  My biggest take away for this is that you DO NOT HAVE TO START ON JANUARY 1st.  Good news for those of you who had every intention of creating a goal/resolution for this year and never started. 
Allowing yourself permission to start later gives you the opportunity to think about what it is your really want.  He uses the example of the person who wants to lose weight and joins a gym on January 1st, vowing to workout 5 days a week.  But if you have a job, are responsible for others (kids, ailing parent) this is unrealistic.  Instead, Aston suggests taking the time to do your research.  Find a gym or trainer that offers classes you are interested in and has a flexible schedule that will allow you to carve out the time you need to keep your fitness goals.

#2  BE THE SNAIL:  This is a good one if you are trying to break a habit - like smoking or in my case emotional eating.  What ever the habit is you're trying to break, you have probably been at it for a looong time.  This tip is about realizing that changing your behavior is going to be a process - a long, slow process!  It will require baby steps.  Small changes over time will keep you focused and help you create the big change you want. 
Using the smoking scenario, it might mean limiting the number of cigarettes you smoke in a day and gradually decreasing that number over time until you are ready to quit.
#3 PRACTICE SELF COMPASSION:  Be kind to yourself.  This goes back to #1 and thinking it through.  If the plan you came up with isn't working DON'T GIVE UP ON THE GOAL!  Come up with a new plan that will offer you opportunities for success.  
#4 FIND AN ACCOUNTABILITY BUDDY:  Enlist the help of someone who will help you stay on track.  Someone on speed dial if you need to talk  when you would normally reach for a cigarette or a cookie under stress.  A gym buddy is a great way to make work outs fun and motivating.  I have a group of women who I run with.  We hold each other accountable to get up, show up and get our run done.  I can tell you, if it weren't for the fact that I know those 4 ladies are waiting for me at the parking lot, I would easily pull the covers up and sleep in on Sunday mornings.  
#5 BE AWARE OF YOUR TRIGGERS:  In order to change a habit, you must know what the driving force behind your behavior is.  
What is causing me to reach for a cigarette or a cookie?  
Is it stress?  
Boredom? 
Can I replace that feeling with an action?  
Some deep breathing.  
A few long stretches.  
A quick walk.  
Being able to name the trigger and distract yourself from it can be a useful tool to create the change you are trying to create in your life.
The biggest take away in all of this is mindfulness - taking the time to take a deeper look at what you do and why you do it.  Success in attaining goals comes from knowing what you want and creating a thoughtful plan for accomplishing those goals. 
January 1st is just a day on the calendar.
You can create change anytime you want and are ready to put in the work in.
Today.
Tomorrow.
Next week.
However long it takes is not important.
The important thing is to start.
And recognizing that you need a change is a start.  
Build your plan from there. 

Exploring the concept of Surrendering...in yoga, in meditation and in life

I was reading an interesting article by Kristine Kaoverii Weber (Director of Subtle Health) on the subject of "surrender" as it relates to the teaching and practice of yoga.  As she points out, the word itself can be interpreted so many different ways.  Is it a form of defeat?  Is it the letting go of yourself to the will of another?  Is it giving in?

As a yoga teacher, working with students who may have experienced trauma (especially when I am working with veterans/military), I am careful not to use the word "surrender" while guiding students through their poses.  Instead of saying "surrender to the breath" or "surrender to the stretch", we are taught to use gentler phrases...."release", "let go of".  In meditation, phrases like "surrender to the quiet", or "surrender your physical body" are meant to help students find a connection between the physical and emotional bodies.  But when teaching victims of trauma, these words may become triggers that cause unintentional harm.

As I continue on my own journey of self care and self discovery, I found this article very thought provoking.  I kept re-reading it, not really sure why it was striking a cord with me.  And then it hit me.  My fears...I am exploring ways to overcome some of my fears - the fears that hold me back/keep me stuck.  Every time I let a fear keep me from achieving, I am surrendering to that fear.  I am letting it win. 

BUT, what if I changed the way I look at the word surrender.  When I teach yoga/meditation, I use different words and phrases to convey the idea of "letting go" (surrender).  What if I did the same thing when looking at my fears.  Instead of giving in to my fears, I let them go.  I release them.  I take the power back!  Weber refers to it as "spiritual surrender".  It's not about giving into your fears, its about FREEING yourself from them.  She goes on to explain that when she sits in meditation, she can explore these feelings more deeply.  Comparing them to an onion, she paints a very vivid picture of the complexity of our emotional layers.

And finally the connection is made.  The reason I kept coming back to this article about surrender is because in it, I may have found a tool that I can use to help me let go of these fears that hold me back.  MEDITATION!  My old friend.  The one I turn to to help me fall asleep at night.  The one I turn to when I am feeling stressed and want to reset my internal self.  MEDITATION! The answer was right in front of me and I was looking past it.  If I can deepen my meditation practice to include more self discover, then perhaps, I can discover the root of my fears.  If I understand what these fears are and where they come from, I can work at letting them go. Remember the picture of the balloons!

My journey towards emotional health and wellness continues.  Yoga and meditation were already paths on that journey, and now I see that by deepening my meditation practice - by including it to be more about self discovery - I may find another path on my journey...a path that will lead to a deeper understanding of my fears, and ultimately, of myself.💕

NOTE:  I am including the link to  Kristine Kaoverii Weber's YouTube meditation video "Slow Down and Let Go".  If you are new to meditation or are looking for a new guided meditation, I highly recommend this video.  Share your thoughts in the comments.  I'd love to know what you think of this and how you approach your own meditation practice.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eVQzXNv2ZI&feature=youtu.be

AND SHE IS BACK....WITH THOUGHTS FOR THE NEW YEAR.

     Well my friends, I have returned to my writing.  I have attempted this return on several different occasions over the past months. But when it came time to publish, I hit delete instead.  Never happy with what I had written.  Always feelings I had not conveyed the message I was trying to share.  Afraid of being judged or misunderstood.  So many excuses!

     But as I was preparing for the holidays and the start of the new year, I came across this picture.  And it struck me that in this one little musing, I saw myself.  I saw all my excuses.  All my doubts and all my fears.  I saw all the past hurts and regrets that continue to hold me back.  I saw my anger and frustration.  I saw those balloons and realized that this is the message I give so many women and now it is time I listen to my own advise.  So this is the promise I have made to myself.  I am letting go of all the balloons that hold me back-that keep me stuck in the past.  The balloons that give me excuses.  The balloons that keep me from being the best version of myself that I can be.  

     In 2019, I decided not to make New Years Resolutions.  I was introduced to the idea of setting goals and then creating plans to achieve them.  I am happy to report that this worked for me.  I set a new goal each month, with weekly plans to achieve it. This past year I really focused on my health.  I changed the way I ate and what I ate. I lost weight and have kept it off.   I rededicated myself to my running (after my back surgery I was afraid to start again) and actually ran a few races. My goals were focused on my physical health and fitness.  But as I continued to set my goals and create my plans, I was avoiding the really big dreams -the really big goals. The really important and harder work. These are the things that cannot be measured by a scale or a stopwatch.  The things I have been avoiding are more internal.  They are the balloons.  I had not yet set my goals or created my plan for how I was going to let go of all those emotional barriers I have been carrying around with me.  

     So I am setting a goal to improve my emotional health in 2020.  Each month I am going to choose a balloon and come up with strategies to learn how to let it go.  I think that if I break that BIG emotional bouquet of balloons down into each feeling I want to work on, I can have the same success I had with improving my physical health.   

     I am starting the new year by exploring my fears.  I will not hit the delete button this time.  I will publish this blog.  I will be more confident about what I can do physically and get over this fear I have developed that I have to baby my back.  In truth, I need to strengthen it!  I will not let my fear of the unknown hold me back from trying new things. Just last night I went to  a new running group.  I went with a friend.  As it turned out, there was one other person there that I knew.  I didn't know the route.  We were running on a busy road - in the dark - but I went!  And I had a great run.  I am getting ready for a 3 month visit with my son, daughter in law and granddaughter in New Zealand.  My husband is coming for a few weeks.  My other son is coming for a few weeks as well. But when they are gone, I will be in NZ for another 6 weeks by myself.  I have a choice.  I can sit at my son's house and count on him to entertain me, or I can go out and explore on my own.  My fear of getting on the wrong bus or traveling around the city alone is REAL. But when I was there in May, I worked through some of those fears and made several bus trips into the city on my own.  This time I hope to explore new parts Auckland and the surrounding area. I cannot let fear keep me from having adventures.

     In looking ahead, I think working through some of my fears will give me the confidence I need to work through some of the other balloons.  I think finally letting go of past hurts and feelings of anger I have towards people who I have unresolved issues with will set me free - free to live the life I want for myself. These emotional balloons do not serve me.  They do not make me a better person.  They keep me stuck in the past.  

     At the start of my yoga classes, I tell my students to take a deep inhale and image that in that breath they are making room for all the wonderful things they want to bring into their life, and on the exhale, they imagine they are letting go of all the things that do not serve them.  Well these balloons no longer serve me and it is time to let them go.  Each one in their own time, with thoughtfulness and care.  

     Yes, that's right care.  Because just as my physical goals took time, achieving  these emotional goals will also be a process.  I can't just take a pin to them and think that because I popped the balloon the problem is solved.  I am not popping balloons.  I am letting them go.  I am letting these emotional hurts and pains and doubts leave me - one by one with meaning and purpose.  Because in order to let each balloon go, I have to identify it, understand it and release its hold on me.

     My hope for each of you as we begin this new year, this new decade, is that you can set goals for yourself and create a plan for achieving them.  And if you need to let a few balloons go in order to achieve those goals, let them go with gentleness, care and the knowledge that letting go of those balloons makes room for new ones - ones that will bring you peace, joy and happiness.  Happy New Year dear ones.  Thank you for your love and support.  Know that it is returned to you everyday,  through my hopes and prayers for each of you. 💖