Thoughts from NZ vol. 2

THOUGHTS FROM NEW ZEALAND

(volume 2)

April 13, 2020

     Today is hard.  I should be arriving home today.  I should actually be landing at Logan right about now.  But, I am not!  And while I remind myself that it is better that I am here, than at home,  I am still sad.

     I remind myself that I get at least two more months watching Amelia grow and reach new milestone (like walking and saying her first words).  But, I am still sad.

     I remind myself that I will never get the opportunity for so much quality time with Michael and Jamie - cooking, talking, enjoying good wine.  But, I am still sad.

     I remind myself that the leaders here are handling this crisis so much better than in the states.  But, I am still sad.

     I remind myself how lucky I am that we have been physically untouched by this virus personally.  Nobody in our family or circle of friends had gotten it - a fact that is such a blessing considering just how many people have contracted this virus.  But, I am still sad.

     I am still sad because this virus has caused so much disruption and devastation to the entire world.  I am still sad because it is hard to imagine how we will come out of something like this.

     Everyone tries to put a positive spin on it...myself included.  We have all this time to spend with family.  Time to slow down and enjoy simple pleasures.  Time to get all those little projects done around the house.  Time to exercise and get back into a fitness routine.  Everyone says things will be different, better, when this is over.  But, really, will they?  Are we really going to look back at this time and think "oh, remember that time when the whole world was on lockdown and we had the time to enjoy a simpler way of life"?   

     Sadly, I think the answer is NO.  Because, after only three weeks of "social distancing" and isolation people are clamoring for their "old normal".  Leaders are being pressed to pin down a date on the calendar when things this will open up again.  When will the kids go back to school?  When will the mall be opened?  When can I get a haircut?  Is everyone just going to fling open their doors and go about their business as if nothing had happened? Or, will there be some sort of gradual resumption of life as we knew it? 

     So, while I have much to be thankful for during these stressful days, I still start and end each day with more questions than answers.  I know answers will not be easy to come by because the questions and situations change so much every single day.

     And, while I think it is important to stay positive, hopeful, optimistic (pick your word), I think it is also important to acknowledge the other feelings that creep in as well.  Give them a name, too.  Sadness.  Anger.  Confusion.  Explore where these feelings are rooted.  But then, bring your focus back to the things you can control.  The things you can enjoy.  The things that give you the strength to get up each day.

     Today, I acknowledge my sadness.  I name it.  I feel it.  It is normal to feel this way.  There was a plan and then the plan changed.  It is out of my control.   I don't really have a back up plan except to stay here and enjoy all this extra time with my family.  Because that's what gives me the strength to get up each day.

Thoughts from New Zealand.  Yes!  I'm still here!

     When last I wrote, I was debating whether I should leave on April 13th as scheduled or stay until June 1st, as my visa had been extended.  I no longer have a choice.  Air New Zealand has suspended all flights into the US until June 30th.  An Epidemic Order is in effect here, so all current visas are good until September 25th.  So while I still have no idea when I will be home, it looks like it won't be until at least July 1st , unless I can book something with another airline.  But, really, I AM IN NO HURRY TO GET ON A PLANE!  I have the gift of time.  I have time to wait and see how this plays out in the US and Massachusetts over the next weeks and then I can start to make a plan...I hope.

     The Prime Minister here is a marvel.  Google her...Jacinda Ardern.  She is a no nonsense, strong, compassionate voice in a time of great uncertainty.  SHE SHUT THE COUNTRY DOWN AND NOBODY HAD DIED YET!!!!!!She was determined to get ahead of this virus and rallied the country behind her to get it done. Everything shut down except for grocery stores, pharmacies, medical facilities, police and fire departments.  Grocery stores immediately limited the number of people allowed in the store.  Limits were set on certain items as to how much  you could buy.  Restaurants, bars, coffee shops were all shut down.  No take out.  No delivery.  Life in NZ changed dramatically in the course of 48 hours.  And while there continues to be new cases, the number of new cases is not nearly as disheartening as in other parts of the world.  They are tracking it here.  Looking for clusters.  Looking for any patterns that will help medical personnel stem the rising tide. 

     I feel safe here. Michael, Jamie and I are doing everything we can to keep ourselves and Amelia safe and healthy.  They had a feeling the government was going to take aggressive action so we had been keeping track of what we had in the house...especially for the baby.  So we were in pretty good shape when the lockdown  went into effect.  We have had some bulk food items delivered.  Michael went to the grocery store today and got us stocked up on eggs, produce, meat, bread.  We also have a decent supply of wine (which you can buy in grocery stores here).   AND EVERYTHING GOT  DISINFECTED BEFORE IT GOT PUT AWAY!

     I run everyday.  I have set up circuit training in the backyard when the weather permits, the garage when it rains (we are heading into Fall here).  I am loaded up with yoga and exercise videos so that I don't get bored.  There are daily walks around the neighborhood so that Amelia gets fresh air and sunshine.  We have a big back yard.  For Michael and Jamie, this time with their daughter is such a gift.  They are getting to see her at such a crucial time (10 months old).  She is cruising around the furniture.  Babbling away.  We marvel at how much she changes from day to day.  My Nonni heart is full! 

     My mother heart is full and conflicted. I try to check in with Cait and Tim every couple of days.  There isn't much I can do from here, but I need to see their faces and hear their voices and  know that they are taking care of themselves and have what they need.  They have roommates so they are not alone.  And then there's Stephen who IS home alone!  Those of you who know him, know he is a VERY SOCIAL person.  I worry most about him.  And if truth be told, I wonder what it is going to be like once I do get home.  We will be apart for almost 6 months (if I get home in July).  I think there might be a period of readjustment!

     We look for the positive, EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!  We look out the front window and can see the ocean.  We are warm.  We have a roof over our heads.  We have food.  We are safe and we do everything we can to stay safe and keep Amelia safe.  

     Everyone is going to deal with this crisis in their own way.  For me, that means having a routine.  Get up.  Work out.  Read.  Cook.  Play with the baby.  Do laundry.  I think it's important to get up in the morning, brush your teeth, and have a plan.  What do I want to accomplish today? Make no mistake.  There are days that I struggle to do anything more than pour a cup of coffee.  But then I see that smile that lights up my soul and I know I need to get moving.

     Are you home schooling?  How's that going?  I hope you are taking advantage of all the FREE resources that are being made available to parents.  But, you know what?  This is stressful for your kids too, so don't worry about the lessons.  Go outside and take a walk.  Make bird feeders.  Plant a garden (you can get the seeds in the grocery store or on line).  Let your kids learn through new experiences.  You might learn something new yourself.  Your kids are looking to you to guide them through this.  Be an example of strength and curiosity.  Ask open ended questions that will get them talking.  Encourage them to write or draw about how they are feeling. They are living through a major historical event.  Help them keep a record of it.  Take lots of pictures.  Make your own books.  There's so much you can do together that will go a long way to keeping everyone busy, calm and reassured.

     And so I have chosen the following quote to share with all of you as I wrap up this entry. 

     

I hope you find "good stuff" to enjoy everyday.  Yes, these are troubling times, full of uncertainty and strong emotions.  We will be changed after this.  How do you go from weeks of isolation and "social distancing", back into your normal life?  But worry will not guide us through this.  Continuing to look out for each other, showing gratitude for all we do have, and taking this time to slow down and discover the things that are really important....those are the gifts we can focus on for now.  Because now, we have the time.