Setting February's Goal

As January comes to an end, it is time to think about my goal for February.

     My meditation practice has become more focused and mindful this month.  I have taken several "moving meditations", either walking or running and then sitting to reflect when done.  These moving meditations have helped me with my breathing and posture as I tackle the hills that surround me for my daily run.  

     My goal for January was to make my meditation practice more meaningful, and adding this new form of meditation has helped me achieve this goal.  

     Time to think about my goal for February. 
      I have settled into a routine here in NZ.  Tim has arrived.  Stephen will be leaving next week.  Mike and Jamie have gone back to work.  I settle the baby in for her morning nap then go for a run.  On days I do a shorter run, I add a quick yoga flow just to stretch after my run.  I go to the gym Saturday or Sunday depending on what the weekend plans are.  I do a run on the treadmill. Then it's weights and core and I end in the studio with another short yoga flow to stretch.  

     I miss my regular yoga practice.  

     I haven't really looked for a studio here.  I know there isn't one close by so I just try to do a flow when I can.  

     But more than the actual class, I miss the emotional release of stretching that is such a big part of my yoga practice.

     And so the next small goal of my overall big goal of emotional health will be to add mindful stretching to my fitness routine...not just tack on a flow at the end of my run or gym workout; but a mindful, relaxing, stretching routine that will bring me the emotional release of tension I am craving.  

     I've done a little research on the benefits of stretching the body.  Turns out, stretching the body in a mindful/meaningful way also stretches the mind and the soul.  

     When you stretch, you have the opportunity to listen to your body, or rather your bodies (physical, emotional and spiritual).  You become more aware of your body's nuances.  
     What stretch feels good?      
     What are the physical limits of some stretches and if I let go - breathe into the stretch, can I go a little deeper.  
     And if I go a little deeper can I release the physical and emotional tension that builds up over time?  
     On a spiritual level, can I find peace deep within my being if I learn to breathe, stretch and let go?

     Stretching in this deep and meaningful way brings joy to your body.  It frees you from thinking of your body as a machine that needs to be pushed to its limits.  In stretching, you just allow the body and the mind to be.  

     Allowing yourself to stretch - to release and let go - can change your mood.  Notice when you are feeling anxious or tense.  

     Are you holding your breath?  

     Is your lower back sore?  

     Do you have pain in your neck and shoulders. 

     Taking the time to mindfully stretch can release all that physical discomfort and emotional negativity.  When you release the negativity, you make room for joy.  You experience your life with a positive attitude.  
     As the above quote suggests, creating opportunities for the body to soften and relax is important for our well-being.

     So this month I set out on the path of softening my hard edges.  I will work on creating my more supple and open self.  I will show gratitude for the gift of my body by taking care of, not only my physical body, but my emotional and spiritual bodies, as well.  

     Happy February everyone.  

     What goal will you be working on this month?  

     What ever it is, stay focused and be kind to yourself.  Don't give up.  Everyday is a new opportunity for change and growth.

     

How are those resolutions going?

We are coming up to the end of the first month of the new year.  
Did you make any New Years resolutions?  
Did you choose to set goals instead of resolutions?  
What ever you want to call them, the start of a new year is an opportunity to try new things or break a bad habit.  
We all start out with the best intentions.  
Time to make a change. 
Lose weight.  
Stop smoking. 
Travel more.  
Worry less.  
But why can't we stay committed to our plan.  Why do so many people give up before the month is over?  
I was reading an article in the Mindfulness Journal; A 52 Week Planner, written by Amanda Altman, who suggests that the problem may be in a lack of planning.  She states that more than just wanting to make a change, one must explore "the situations you regularly find yourself in".  You need to examine the triggers of your behavior that keep you stuck in old patterns and prevent you from making changes/keeping your resolutions.

In the article, she shares tips from Bryan Aston, LMSW and Director of Training at Mindful Psychotherapy Services in New York City, that may help you stay focused on your goals and find success in keeping your resolutions.  
After reading the article I immediately wanted to share this information with you.  This article was a good reminder that in order to create change you need a plan.  If you have a plan - a way to break your BIG goal down into smaller, attainable stages - you will have more success making the changes in your life that you want to create.  Here are my thoughts on some of his tips.

#1 "THINK IT THROUGH":  My biggest take away for this is that you DO NOT HAVE TO START ON JANUARY 1st.  Good news for those of you who had every intention of creating a goal/resolution for this year and never started. 
Allowing yourself permission to start later gives you the opportunity to think about what it is your really want.  He uses the example of the person who wants to lose weight and joins a gym on January 1st, vowing to workout 5 days a week.  But if you have a job, are responsible for others (kids, ailing parent) this is unrealistic.  Instead, Aston suggests taking the time to do your research.  Find a gym or trainer that offers classes you are interested in and has a flexible schedule that will allow you to carve out the time you need to keep your fitness goals.

#2  BE THE SNAIL:  This is a good one if you are trying to break a habit - like smoking or in my case emotional eating.  What ever the habit is you're trying to break, you have probably been at it for a looong time.  This tip is about realizing that changing your behavior is going to be a process - a long, slow process!  It will require baby steps.  Small changes over time will keep you focused and help you create the big change you want. 
Using the smoking scenario, it might mean limiting the number of cigarettes you smoke in a day and gradually decreasing that number over time until you are ready to quit.
#3 PRACTICE SELF COMPASSION:  Be kind to yourself.  This goes back to #1 and thinking it through.  If the plan you came up with isn't working DON'T GIVE UP ON THE GOAL!  Come up with a new plan that will offer you opportunities for success.  
#4 FIND AN ACCOUNTABILITY BUDDY:  Enlist the help of someone who will help you stay on track.  Someone on speed dial if you need to talk  when you would normally reach for a cigarette or a cookie under stress.  A gym buddy is a great way to make work outs fun and motivating.  I have a group of women who I run with.  We hold each other accountable to get up, show up and get our run done.  I can tell you, if it weren't for the fact that I know those 4 ladies are waiting for me at the parking lot, I would easily pull the covers up and sleep in on Sunday mornings.  
#5 BE AWARE OF YOUR TRIGGERS:  In order to change a habit, you must know what the driving force behind your behavior is.  
What is causing me to reach for a cigarette or a cookie?  
Is it stress?  
Boredom? 
Can I replace that feeling with an action?  
Some deep breathing.  
A few long stretches.  
A quick walk.  
Being able to name the trigger and distract yourself from it can be a useful tool to create the change you are trying to create in your life.
The biggest take away in all of this is mindfulness - taking the time to take a deeper look at what you do and why you do it.  Success in attaining goals comes from knowing what you want and creating a thoughtful plan for accomplishing those goals. 
January 1st is just a day on the calendar.
You can create change anytime you want and are ready to put in the work in.
Today.
Tomorrow.
Next week.
However long it takes is not important.
The important thing is to start.
And recognizing that you need a change is a start.  
Build your plan from there. 

Exploring the concept of Surrendering...in yoga, in meditation and in life

I was reading an interesting article by Kristine Kaoverii Weber (Director of Subtle Health) on the subject of "surrender" as it relates to the teaching and practice of yoga.  As she points out, the word itself can be interpreted so many different ways.  Is it a form of defeat?  Is it the letting go of yourself to the will of another?  Is it giving in?

As a yoga teacher, working with students who may have experienced trauma (especially when I am working with veterans/military), I am careful not to use the word "surrender" while guiding students through their poses.  Instead of saying "surrender to the breath" or "surrender to the stretch", we are taught to use gentler phrases...."release", "let go of".  In meditation, phrases like "surrender to the quiet", or "surrender your physical body" are meant to help students find a connection between the physical and emotional bodies.  But when teaching victims of trauma, these words may become triggers that cause unintentional harm.

As I continue on my own journey of self care and self discovery, I found this article very thought provoking.  I kept re-reading it, not really sure why it was striking a cord with me.  And then it hit me.  My fears...I am exploring ways to overcome some of my fears - the fears that hold me back/keep me stuck.  Every time I let a fear keep me from achieving, I am surrendering to that fear.  I am letting it win. 

BUT, what if I changed the way I look at the word surrender.  When I teach yoga/meditation, I use different words and phrases to convey the idea of "letting go" (surrender).  What if I did the same thing when looking at my fears.  Instead of giving in to my fears, I let them go.  I release them.  I take the power back!  Weber refers to it as "spiritual surrender".  It's not about giving into your fears, its about FREEING yourself from them.  She goes on to explain that when she sits in meditation, she can explore these feelings more deeply.  Comparing them to an onion, she paints a very vivid picture of the complexity of our emotional layers.

And finally the connection is made.  The reason I kept coming back to this article about surrender is because in it, I may have found a tool that I can use to help me let go of these fears that hold me back.  MEDITATION!  My old friend.  The one I turn to to help me fall asleep at night.  The one I turn to when I am feeling stressed and want to reset my internal self.  MEDITATION! The answer was right in front of me and I was looking past it.  If I can deepen my meditation practice to include more self discover, then perhaps, I can discover the root of my fears.  If I understand what these fears are and where they come from, I can work at letting them go. Remember the picture of the balloons!

My journey towards emotional health and wellness continues.  Yoga and meditation were already paths on that journey, and now I see that by deepening my meditation practice - by including it to be more about self discovery - I may find another path on my journey...a path that will lead to a deeper understanding of my fears, and ultimately, of myself.💕

NOTE:  I am including the link to  Kristine Kaoverii Weber's YouTube meditation video "Slow Down and Let Go".  If you are new to meditation or are looking for a new guided meditation, I highly recommend this video.  Share your thoughts in the comments.  I'd love to know what you think of this and how you approach your own meditation practice.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eVQzXNv2ZI&feature=youtu.be

AND SHE IS BACK....WITH THOUGHTS FOR THE NEW YEAR.

     Well my friends, I have returned to my writing.  I have attempted this return on several different occasions over the past months. But when it came time to publish, I hit delete instead.  Never happy with what I had written.  Always feelings I had not conveyed the message I was trying to share.  Afraid of being judged or misunderstood.  So many excuses!

     But as I was preparing for the holidays and the start of the new year, I came across this picture.  And it struck me that in this one little musing, I saw myself.  I saw all my excuses.  All my doubts and all my fears.  I saw all the past hurts and regrets that continue to hold me back.  I saw my anger and frustration.  I saw those balloons and realized that this is the message I give so many women and now it is time I listen to my own advise.  So this is the promise I have made to myself.  I am letting go of all the balloons that hold me back-that keep me stuck in the past.  The balloons that give me excuses.  The balloons that keep me from being the best version of myself that I can be.  

     In 2019, I decided not to make New Years Resolutions.  I was introduced to the idea of setting goals and then creating plans to achieve them.  I am happy to report that this worked for me.  I set a new goal each month, with weekly plans to achieve it. This past year I really focused on my health.  I changed the way I ate and what I ate. I lost weight and have kept it off.   I rededicated myself to my running (after my back surgery I was afraid to start again) and actually ran a few races. My goals were focused on my physical health and fitness.  But as I continued to set my goals and create my plans, I was avoiding the really big dreams -the really big goals. The really important and harder work. These are the things that cannot be measured by a scale or a stopwatch.  The things I have been avoiding are more internal.  They are the balloons.  I had not yet set my goals or created my plan for how I was going to let go of all those emotional barriers I have been carrying around with me.  

     So I am setting a goal to improve my emotional health in 2020.  Each month I am going to choose a balloon and come up with strategies to learn how to let it go.  I think that if I break that BIG emotional bouquet of balloons down into each feeling I want to work on, I can have the same success I had with improving my physical health.   

     I am starting the new year by exploring my fears.  I will not hit the delete button this time.  I will publish this blog.  I will be more confident about what I can do physically and get over this fear I have developed that I have to baby my back.  In truth, I need to strengthen it!  I will not let my fear of the unknown hold me back from trying new things. Just last night I went to  a new running group.  I went with a friend.  As it turned out, there was one other person there that I knew.  I didn't know the route.  We were running on a busy road - in the dark - but I went!  And I had a great run.  I am getting ready for a 3 month visit with my son, daughter in law and granddaughter in New Zealand.  My husband is coming for a few weeks.  My other son is coming for a few weeks as well. But when they are gone, I will be in NZ for another 6 weeks by myself.  I have a choice.  I can sit at my son's house and count on him to entertain me, or I can go out and explore on my own.  My fear of getting on the wrong bus or traveling around the city alone is REAL. But when I was there in May, I worked through some of those fears and made several bus trips into the city on my own.  This time I hope to explore new parts Auckland and the surrounding area. I cannot let fear keep me from having adventures.

     In looking ahead, I think working through some of my fears will give me the confidence I need to work through some of the other balloons.  I think finally letting go of past hurts and feelings of anger I have towards people who I have unresolved issues with will set me free - free to live the life I want for myself. These emotional balloons do not serve me.  They do not make me a better person.  They keep me stuck in the past.  

     At the start of my yoga classes, I tell my students to take a deep inhale and image that in that breath they are making room for all the wonderful things they want to bring into their life, and on the exhale, they imagine they are letting go of all the things that do not serve them.  Well these balloons no longer serve me and it is time to let them go.  Each one in their own time, with thoughtfulness and care.  

     Yes, that's right care.  Because just as my physical goals took time, achieving  these emotional goals will also be a process.  I can't just take a pin to them and think that because I popped the balloon the problem is solved.  I am not popping balloons.  I am letting them go.  I am letting these emotional hurts and pains and doubts leave me - one by one with meaning and purpose.  Because in order to let each balloon go, I have to identify it, understand it and release its hold on me.

     My hope for each of you as we begin this new year, this new decade, is that you can set goals for yourself and create a plan for achieving them.  And if you need to let a few balloons go in order to achieve those goals, let them go with gentleness, care and the knowledge that letting go of those balloons makes room for new ones - ones that will bring you peace, joy and happiness.  Happy New Year dear ones.  Thank you for your love and support.  Know that it is returned to you everyday,  through my hopes and prayers for each of you. 💖