Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Staying Connected in a Global World: A Grandmother's Rant




I am about to become a grandmother.  I am over the moon excited about this.  I have such fond memories of time spent with my grandparents. My kids were lucky enough to have known, not only their grandparents but most of their great grandparents.  Growing up in East Boston and Malden, we were surrounded by family in all directions.  Sunday dinners, holidays, family celebrations.  There was always an occasion for us to be together.  Even when my grandparents moved to the suburbs of Natick and my family moved to Plymouth we still managed to keep those family bonds in tact.
I wanted to be the "Nonni" who babysits, and bakes cookies with my grandchildren.  I wanted my kitchen table to become the place where everyone gathered on a Sunday afternoon.  But in this global world my role as a grandparent will be quite different because my grandchild will be born in NEW ZEALAND!  I will be a digital grandparent.  Facetime will be the thread of our family bonds.  There are times that this realization makes me very sad.  It's hard to be a hands-on, helpful Nonni from the other side of the world.  How is this going to work?  
Are there others of you out there reading this who have experienced this?  How do you form connections and family bonds if you don't have physical contact.  Is Facetime really enough?  I am not making a joke of this.  I am truly troubled by this situation.  
I feel it with my own children.  One son in New Zealand, the other in California.  I am constantly checking time differences before I call them.  Every contact has to be planned.  My daughter is in Boston and even though we talk to each almost every day, I don't get to see her nearly as much as I'd like because of her work schedule.  Sunday is longer a day of rest.  It is just another work day.
We are a society on the move.  We go where the jobs and money are.  We go where we can live the lifestyle that best suits us.  Family connections are formed through technology, not physical contact.  I am not accepting this easily.
We will make this work!!!!  We head to New Zealand in a few weeks to meet our grand daughter.  We are already planning for Christmas and summer vacations.  There will be a lot of planning and not a lot of spontaneous family gatherings.  Facetime will be our "dinner table".  It will be the life line that binds us together.  And when we do get to be physically together, those times will be even more special because we will be working hard to make them happen.
Mike and Jamie have created a beautiful life for themselves in New Zealand.  They have worked hard for it.  I couldn't be prouder of them.  I know they are going to be amazing parents - ready to raise a strong independent daughter.  Even though my role as a grandmother is going to be nothing like my grandmother and mother enjoyed, I am going to savor every moment that I get to spend with her - whether it is in person or on a screen.  I can't wait to start the adventure.

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